Up until twenty-eight weeks of pregnancy, things were going fairly smoothly. Well, apart from some bleeding episodes in the early days but they quickly subsided at eighteen weeks and it was nothing more than just ''one of those things''. So back to twenty-eight weeks, Lily was breech (which means a baby is bottom down instead of the desired head first), but at that stage its no biggie, they still have plenty of space to do their acrobats, but not this one, this sassy little monkey had other plans but to stay in that position with the occasional lying transverse. I know this because I felt her bloody head under my ribcage and I also had weekly scans because of her lack of movement.
Fast forward to thirty-six weeks and I had my usual weekly scan which yet again confirmed the little bugger was in her favourite position. By this time some sort of plan needed to be put in place with how she was going to enter the world, and unless some sort of miracle was going to happen and Lily did a massive summer-salt, a natural birth as I was told was just too risky. Plus the doctors and midwife team at my hospital were honest with me with the fact that they weren't very experienced with breech births and my thought was if anything was to go wrong and her head did get stuck, I would not live with myself.
I did try all the tricks of the trade to try and get this little monkey turned with an extensive Google search which suggested, lye on your back with your hips slightly raised, kneel on the floor with your bottom in the air, etc, that was interesting as you could imagine for a very heavily pregnant gal!. I even underwent an External Cephalic Version (ECV) at the hospital where an obstetrician tries to turn the baby manually into a head-down position but we had no luck, Lily's bum was truly wedged in my pelvis which was as the ob described it, like having her bum stuck in a bucket. Sassy pants wasn't budging. The best thing to come out of the experience of an ECV though was the gas and air which you could have during the procedure as its quite uncomfortable and oh my life, I had been waiting for that stuff for a whole six years since the natural birth of my first daughter Isabelle, best stuff ever! Apparently whilst I was off my tree on gas and air my mum said the obstetrician was going at my stomach like she was doughing a pizza and she really did have a good go at it.
I did try all the tricks of the trade to try and get this little monkey turned with an extensive Google search which suggested, lye on your back with your hips slightly raised, kneel on the floor with your bottom in the air, etc, that was interesting as you could imagine for a very heavily pregnant gal!. I even underwent an External Cephalic Version (ECV) at the hospital where an obstetrician tries to turn the baby manually into a head-down position but we had no luck, Lily's bum was truly wedged in my pelvis which was as the ob described it, like having her bum stuck in a bucket. Sassy pants wasn't budging. The best thing to come out of the experience of an ECV though was the gas and air which you could have during the procedure as its quite uncomfortable and oh my life, I had been waiting for that stuff for a whole six years since the natural birth of my first daughter Isabelle, best stuff ever! Apparently whilst I was off my tree on gas and air my mum said the obstetrician was going at my stomach like she was doughing a pizza and she really did have a good go at it.
I'm not going to lie, I was truly devastated when I had tried everything and was told it was going to have to end up in a C-section, I felt totally robbed. I always naively thought a C-section would never happen to me and were more than likely just something that happened in emergency's. I'd never even heard of a breech baby before, I just thought they turned to head down and do their job, how ignorant I was to this whole pregnancy \ birth thing. I even became jealous of the woman entering the birth suite and them walking around the hospital huffing and puffing their contractions whilst their partners rubbed their back, why me I thought. (ITS THE HORMONES OK!!). I think you do go through some sort of grief with this sort of thing which sounds a bit dramatic but unless you haven't been through it, it's true and I've read many women have felt the same as well.
I just always imagined my labour to be a bit different, fuck, I even wanted a water birth at one point. I also imagined my waters just breaking on their own and me getting my ass to the hospital, begging for the drugs and going through the emotions of natural labour. At one point I so desperately wanted to be induced like I was with Isabelle (even though that comes with its own risks), anything but a C-section, please.
I know it sounds absolutely crazy but I wanted to experience the nit and grit of childbirth. I wanted to experience every last ounce of bringing my child into the world like I did last time and again, it sounds insane as I know some woman find the experience traumatising and scary but for me, as a woman, that was taken away from me, the one thing my body was made to do and it couldn't do it and my only option was the 'easy way out' aka major surgery.
I think the one thing that bug-bared me the most about the whole thing was the fear and the thought of recovering from 'major surgery'. My motivation behind the ECV and my hours of Google searching on how to turn Lily was the thought of that. When recovering from a vaginal birth, the majority of the time if all goes smoothly, its no biggie, you have a bit sore fanny for a few weeks and you're on your way, your up and about straight away, but when you hear that you have to have 'major abdominal surgery' you feel like you'll never walk again and getting back to yourself will take forever. I thought how the fuck am I going to take care of a newborn like I did last time? it's not possible, it turns out, it really is and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Because after going through all these emotions, in the end, I had to come to peace with the fact that my child had to come into this world one way or another and this was the only way. 'It is what it is' so to speak.
It really didn't matter at the end of the day with how she entered the world as long as she was safe and well, that was the most important thing at the end of it all. At least I can say I tried all those things. I think as well, I was so done with being pregnant and having my belly massaged with gel every five minutes that I didn't care if she came out of my leg. JUST GET HER OUT! BITCH IS DONE!
I will talk about the recovery in another post but I will say, it's not as bad as you think and personally, for me, I recovered a bit quicker with a c-section than I did with a vaginal birth (I had a second-degree tear first time round and every time I had to go for a wee it hurt like absolute hell), and would it put me off having more babies in the future because it's more than likely now I'd have to have another C section? no, whatever happens, either way, I'm prepared but I'd still prefer to have a vaginal birth. who actually would have thought aye!
Emmy. x
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